An Exercise in Trust: October Update

"Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring."

I read this verse this morning when I visited Bible Gateway for the verse of the day. I almost laughed because, well, it's true, and it's timely. None of us are in charge of our destinies, contrary to what popular culture proclaims. Everything is in God's hands. Current world events can attest to this. Would I prefer it were the other way around? Most definitely not. I will leave the future in God's most capable hands, and not in my clumsy ones.

Gosh, Dahlia, why this talk about trust and the future? It could be because of Las Vegas, Oaxaca, Miami, Texas, Barcelona, etc. If nothing else, these events are certain reminders of the fragility of life.

In a less global and much less tragic way, this whole Spain thing has been, for me, an exercise in trusting God!

First, back in January/February, the idea's inception and the decision to do it -

This was when I took my parents out to breakfast to let them know the decision I had made to go to Spain.

My parents were not 100% on board. I didn't have a plan at all, just a nudge in my spirit. God, are you sure? Yes. (Was that Him? Is that me?) I went ahead and requested (and received) a year-long leave of absence from my job.

Then, in May, the change of direction -

Since January, I had been pursuing the idea of working as a teaching assistant in a Spanish public school, while attending a church in Madrid. That was my plan - work in Madrid, live in Madrid, go to church in Madrid. I applied. I got references. It was taking shape. I was accepted. I was placed...HOURS away from Madrid, about as far away as you can get and still be in the country. What now, God? Which of these was what You had for me - the teaching, or the church? I believed He was pointing to the church. So I declined placement in the teaching program, and again I was left with no plans. Just that nudge in my spirit.

After emailing Jaz at the church, a plan started to take shape again - I would go to Spain on a religious worker's visa, and I would form part of the church's first attempt at an internship program. They were super excited to have me. I was excited to go.

Then came July, and another email from Jaz.

For various reasons, the internship program was a no-go. Did I still want to go? At this point, I knew that I did. There was no hesitation. God had confirmed through scripture that He was sending me to Spain. So this time, I (once again) had no plan, but I began to understand that God had one.

In July, I worked to finalize everything I could - moving out and renting out my condo, sending off a package to the FBI for my background check, scheduling an appointment with the Spanish embassy in San Francisco, lining up a summer job in the orchard.

Then August and September - the waiting game, which I blogged about in my last post. I had an appointment with the Spanish embassy set for October 9th. (Look at the calendar - that's this Monday!) The catch was that, in order for my visa application to be even considered at the embassy, it needs to be complete. I was still missing 3 key documents: 2 from Spain that Jaz was taking care of, and my FBI background check (which, if you will remember, I applied for back in July. It's a 10-12-week waiting period for the results).

The good news: the 2 documents from Spain arrived just yesterday!

The other news:

After a near-crisis this morning as I realized that my background check is NOT going to arrive in time for my appointment, and that the next soonest available appointment was not until December 29th, and for a brief second I saw an opening in October, but then once I cancelled my current appointment, the other October one had vanished, and my mom's voice resounded in my head, "Maybe it's not meant to be, Dahlia," I closed the computer screen and prayed. I sensed that God was reassuring me. Just trust Him. 

Then, I opened it again, and refreshed. Many times. Sure enough, another October appointment popped up, and this time, I got it.

When Jesus said to Peter, "Oh, you of little faith," I've heard it said that the word "little" that Jesus used did not mean small in amount, but short in duration. Peter had much faith for the first few steps on the water, but, once he saw the waves around him, his faith failed. He didn't trust long enough. 

This morning, God was asking me to trust still. Trust longer. It will all work out according to His plan.

I think that involves learning to be at peace with the unknowns. When many well-intentioned, caring people ask me questions I don't have the answers to, I do grow impatient with myself and with the process. Why DON'T I know the answers to these questions yet?  How much longer will this waiting period last? 

Trust longer.

Speaking of questions of well-intentioned, caring people, here are the most recent frequently-asked questions that I may or may not have answers for:

FAQ 1: So... any news? Any updates?

Actually, yes!

1. As I mentioned above, I have a new appointment in San Francisco, in exactly 3 weeks.

2. I now have a confirmed place to live! I will be renting a room from a lady who lives just around the corner from the church! 

3. My job in the orchard finished yesterday! I actually really enjoyed it, and I was able to save some funds for my upcoming trip.

4. I am now insured in Spain (medically). But not in the US, hehe *nervous laughter*

5. I am officially car-less! My tabs expired at the end of September, and I did not renew. I also cancelled my car insurance. This is for real, people!

FAQ 2: When are you leaving for Spain again?

Well, let's calculate. My visa appointment is 3 weeks from now, and it can take 4-6 weeks for my visa to be ready after the appointment. That puts my departure roughly around the end of November.

FAQ 3: Aaand...what are you going to do there? Teach?

Nope - no teaching per se. The "plan" is currently to serve in various of the church's ministries, including the young adult group and possibly a type of street ministry that they do. Also, I will work 2-3 days per week with Oasis Center, which provides different services for immigrants to Spain.

FAQ 4: But you're going back to teaching when you get back, right?

The current answer is yes. I am planning to return for the 2018-2019 school year. After seeing how easily God can foil my plans, though, I can say nothing for certain. :)

Thanks for your interest in my life and this journey! I'll post another one of these in about a month for your reading pleasure. As always, if you are curious about something I didn't include, feel free to comment below. 👇

To read previous updates, click on the link(s) below:
July update: The Comeback
August update: While I'm Waiting