Day 3: Longing

I got through the day, and it was a good day.

But I want MORE! I want to go DEEP with these kids, though they are just kids. I want to sow into them. I want to impart passion and see them grow.

But, I must remember that they are not MINE. They are not even Mr. P's. They are not even their parents'. They are God's children, entrusted by God to their parents, and entrusted by their parents to Mr. P...and me...kind of.

The longing goes in a different direction, too. The hunger to teach is growing! Yay! This first year of teacher training that I have gone through, I can't say that I have worried, but I have wondered -- God, when will You awaken in me a passion for teaching? I KNOW teaching is my calling. I've known this for some time. It was this certainty only that led me to pursue the calling, without passion. But now the passion is being awakened. I want to TEACH! I don't want to just walk around the class and answer questions and collect papers and laminate name tags! I want to teach!

And -- I long to be myself. I am finding [although I assumed as much from the start] that Mr. P. and I have differing ideas on some things. While he shares his ideas, I just smile and nod. Smile and nod. But, inside, I have questions for him, to test his ideas or challenge them. I will work on expressing myself genuinely, instead of trying to remain agreeable. I will ask God to help me be who He has called ME to be in that classroom, instead of trying to imitate Mr. P's easy-goingness.

So, one week down, two more to go, and this is where I'm at.

More on this topic later, following a three-day weekend!