An Exercise in Trust: October Update

"Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring."

I read this verse this morning when I visited Bible Gateway for the verse of the day. I almost laughed because, well, it's true, and it's timely. None of us are in charge of our destinies, contrary to what popular culture proclaims. Everything is in God's hands. Current world events can attest to this. Would I prefer it were the other way around? Most definitely not. I will leave the future in God's most capable hands, and not in my clumsy ones.

Gosh, Dahlia, why this talk about trust and the future? It could be because of Las Vegas, Oaxaca, Miami, Texas, Barcelona, etc. If nothing else, these events are certain reminders of the fragility of life.

In a less global and much less tragic way, this whole Spain thing has been, for me, an exercise in trusting God!

First, back in January/February, the idea's inception and the decision to do it -

This was when I took my parents out to breakfast to let them know the decision I had made to go to Spain.

My parents were not 100% on board. I didn't have a plan at all, just a nudge in my spirit. God, are you sure? Yes. (Was that Him? Is that me?) I went ahead and requested (and received) a year-long leave of absence from my job.

Then, in May, the change of direction -

Since January, I had been pursuing the idea of working as a teaching assistant in a Spanish public school, while attending a church in Madrid. That was my plan - work in Madrid, live in Madrid, go to church in Madrid. I applied. I got references. It was taking shape. I was accepted. I was placed...HOURS away from Madrid, about as far away as you can get and still be in the country. What now, God? Which of these was what You had for me - the teaching, or the church? I believed He was pointing to the church. So I declined placement in the teaching program, and again I was left with no plans. Just that nudge in my spirit.

After emailing Jaz at the church, a plan started to take shape again - I would go to Spain on a religious worker's visa, and I would form part of the church's first attempt at an internship program. They were super excited to have me. I was excited to go.

Then came July, and another email from Jaz.

For various reasons, the internship program was a no-go. Did I still want to go? At this point, I knew that I did. There was no hesitation. God had confirmed through scripture that He was sending me to Spain. So this time, I (once again) had no plan, but I began to understand that God had one.

In July, I worked to finalize everything I could - moving out and renting out my condo, sending off a package to the FBI for my background check, scheduling an appointment with the Spanish embassy in San Francisco, lining up a summer job in the orchard.

Then August and September - the waiting game, which I blogged about in my last post. I had an appointment with the Spanish embassy set for October 9th. (Look at the calendar - that's this Monday!) The catch was that, in order for my visa application to be even considered at the embassy, it needs to be complete. I was still missing 3 key documents: 2 from Spain that Jaz was taking care of, and my FBI background check (which, if you will remember, I applied for back in July. It's a 10-12-week waiting period for the results).

The good news: the 2 documents from Spain arrived just yesterday!

The other news:

After a near-crisis this morning as I realized that my background check is NOT going to arrive in time for my appointment, and that the next soonest available appointment was not until December 29th, and for a brief second I saw an opening in October, but then once I cancelled my current appointment, the other October one had vanished, and my mom's voice resounded in my head, "Maybe it's not meant to be, Dahlia," I closed the computer screen and prayed. I sensed that God was reassuring me. Just trust Him. 

Then, I opened it again, and refreshed. Many times. Sure enough, another October appointment popped up, and this time, I got it.

When Jesus said to Peter, "Oh, you of little faith," I've heard it said that the word "little" that Jesus used did not mean small in amount, but short in duration. Peter had much faith for the first few steps on the water, but, once he saw the waves around him, his faith failed. He didn't trust long enough. 

This morning, God was asking me to trust still. Trust longer. It will all work out according to His plan.

I think that involves learning to be at peace with the unknowns. When many well-intentioned, caring people ask me questions I don't have the answers to, I do grow impatient with myself and with the process. Why DON'T I know the answers to these questions yet?  How much longer will this waiting period last? 

Trust longer.

Speaking of questions of well-intentioned, caring people, here are the most recent frequently-asked questions that I may or may not have answers for:

FAQ 1: So... any news? Any updates?

Actually, yes!

1. As I mentioned above, I have a new appointment in San Francisco, in exactly 3 weeks.

2. I now have a confirmed place to live! I will be renting a room from a lady who lives just around the corner from the church! 

3. My job in the orchard finished yesterday! I actually really enjoyed it, and I was able to save some funds for my upcoming trip.

4. I am now insured in Spain (medically). But not in the US, hehe *nervous laughter*

5. I am officially car-less! My tabs expired at the end of September, and I did not renew. I also cancelled my car insurance. This is for real, people!

FAQ 2: When are you leaving for Spain again?

Well, let's calculate. My visa appointment is 3 weeks from now, and it can take 4-6 weeks for my visa to be ready after the appointment. That puts my departure roughly around the end of November.

FAQ 3: Aaand...what are you going to do there? Teach?

Nope - no teaching per se. The "plan" is currently to serve in various of the church's ministries, including the young adult group and possibly a type of street ministry that they do. Also, I will work 2-3 days per week with Oasis Center, which provides different services for immigrants to Spain.

FAQ 4: But you're going back to teaching when you get back, right?

The current answer is yes. I am planning to return for the 2018-2019 school year. After seeing how easily God can foil my plans, though, I can say nothing for certain. :)

Thanks for your interest in my life and this journey! I'll post another one of these in about a month for your reading pleasure. As always, if you are curious about something I didn't include, feel free to comment below. 👇

To read previous updates, click on the link(s) below:
July update: The Comeback
August update: While I'm Waiting

While I'm Waiting: August Update

This is the August edition of my Spain series. To read the previous update, click on the link below:
July update: The Comeback

Last night, I had a hard time falling asleep. I'm sure you know the feeling -- too many thoughts bouncing around in your head. What's interesting is that some of the thoughts keeping me awake were none other than first-day-of-school plans!

I'm sure this doesn't come as a surprise, but, as my coworkers sit through trainings with national brain expert Eric Jensen, host Open Houses with cute glow sticks, and sit around kidney tables with their teammates to collaborate, I feel ... left out!

That's one part of me. The other part -- FREEDOM! -- is very content to sit this one out.

I mean, to all the teachers out there, do you have time to puzzle over a Sudoku for an hour each day? I thought not.

In this month's post, I bring you:
1. Status Check
2. While I'm Waiting
3. Episode 2 of FAQ's
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1. Status Check

I still have an appointment in early October with the Spanish embassy in San Francisco. This appointment is an interview to obtain my Religious Worker's Visa. The main document I need for this appointment is my FBI background check, which I am still waiting for.  There are also some documents from Spain that I am waiting on. I am praying that everything arrives in time for my appointment!

2. While I'm Waiting

I'm not just sitting on my buns, waiting for documents to arrive, surfing the web, and munching on potato chips (although these activities do consume more of my time than I care to admit)!

I'm actually keeping pretty busy, and I'm enjoying this short season.

First, you should know that I moved out of my condo almost 4 weeks ago, and I am now living with my parents (and Oliver) again. I've made it my mission during my time here to make a significant dent in the mounds of fruit overflowing from freezer shelves and refrigerator drawers. Can you say - raspberry pie? Blueberry muffins? Nectarine crisp? 

I was informed by my property management company that the renters moved into my condo earlier this week. Yay for additional income to cover my mortgage while I am unemployed!

One thing about having more time on my hands is I can give myself fully to projects. Normally, I would have the shadow of schoolwork and classroom prep looming over fun events and often limiting my participation. It's been very freeing to give myself more fully this summer. For example, in July I got to help my church put on its first vacation Bible school! Also this summer, I got to throw a bridal shower for my engaged (now married!) cousin, share some memories with my high school classmates at our 10-year reunion, and participate in another cousin's classroom set-up for her first year teaching! I really like this season of being open and available. 

That said, I am picking up a job starting this Friday, working in the orchard under my dad's supervision. I'll be behind the pickers this pear harvest, checking the trees for unpicked fruit. It's a small job that I've done before, and it only last a few weeks, but I'm grateful for it, because every little bit helps!

One last thing: while I'm waiting, I'm praying for Spain, and for the people I will meet there. I've heard it said: "What you pray for, you get a heart for," and, especially after the recent tragedy in Barcelona, I see that God is giving me a heart for Spain.

3. Episode 2 of FAQ's

FAQ: What am I doing with myself now that I'm not getting ready for a new school year?

See #2 above. :)

FAQ: What's it like living with my parents again?

It's like I never left, except in one regard: I feel less entitled now after having had my own home, and more like a guest in their house. I think this is a healthy change!

FAQ: Am I going to come back with a handsome Spaniard on my arm?

I swear, this is the MOST frequently asked question, in all its variations, often not even posed as a question. (It's funny - the non-Mexicans will ask this with an "Oooh-la-la" flair, while my Mexican friends and relatives spit it out with a look of disgust.)

So, people, let's settle this once and for all. Of COURSE I'm not opposed to the idea, but - please! If you know me at all, you know I am not actively looking for a husband (obviously - if I was, I'd have one by now). 

And that, ladies and gents, concludes my August update. Please chime in below ↯if you have questions I didn't answer, and tune in next month for more of the same ;)

Hasta pasta, 

Dahlia