Spain-bound! - November update

This is a portion of the chronicles of my year-long adventure. To read previous installments, please click on the links below:

July: The Comeback

August: While I'm Waiting

October: An Exercise in Trust

About a week ago, I watched the highlights from the MLS western conference semifinals, between Houston and Portland. I already knew the result of the game before I even watched the highlights. I knew that Houston would defy the odds and beat Portland 2-1. What I didn't know until watching the highlights was that Portland scored first. It was interesting to see the Houston goalkeeper's reaction after that first goal.

I said to him (probably out loud - not gonna lie) - "Hey! Stop that! You're not defeated! Don't you know you're going to win this game?" But he didn't know.

Throughout life in general, but, more specifically, during this effort to get my feet in Spain, I can relate to that goalkeeper! (What's his name, anyway? Looking it up...Joe Willis!) I can relate to Joe Willis. I could not understand why three times I had to cancel my visa appointment due to one thing or another. But someone out there (God, obviously) is standing outside of time, seeing me in my moment, but also seeing me in that future moment, probably saying to now-me, "Hey! There's no need to fret! Everything will work out yet!" (Don't ask me why God is speaking to me like Dr. Seuss.)

That soccer highlights video turned out to actually be very encouraging!

(By the way, that was my first time creating a gif 🙌 )

As you may have guessed by the title of this post, I do have some news to share:

Now, it may not be as you think. I don't have a visa yet. I'll be going for just a month. (You can travel as a tourist for up to 90 days). After a month, I will be flying back home for the holidays, and for my *newest* visa appointment. Once I have my visa, I will be returning to Madrid.

This is a short post, because I don't have much else to share right now! I'll be packing this week, and making other necessary arrangements.

Oh, I did want to say one more thing - thank you for your interest, for the occasional texts just to check in, for the coffee dates, phone calls, conversations, and the prayers. I am blessed to have a solid bunch of family and friends who care about my well-being and are interested in what I do. Here's to the continuation of an adventure ✈

Hasta pasta, 

Dahlia

An Exercise in Trust: October Update

"Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring."

I read this verse this morning when I visited Bible Gateway for the verse of the day. I almost laughed because, well, it's true, and it's timely. None of us are in charge of our destinies, contrary to what popular culture proclaims. Everything is in God's hands. Current world events can attest to this. Would I prefer it were the other way around? Most definitely not. I will leave the future in God's most capable hands, and not in my clumsy ones.

Gosh, Dahlia, why this talk about trust and the future? It could be because of Las Vegas, Oaxaca, Miami, Texas, Barcelona, etc. If nothing else, these events are certain reminders of the fragility of life.

In a less global and much less tragic way, this whole Spain thing has been, for me, an exercise in trusting God!

First, back in January/February, the idea's inception and the decision to do it -

This was when I took my parents out to breakfast to let them know the decision I had made to go to Spain.

My parents were not 100% on board. I didn't have a plan at all, just a nudge in my spirit. God, are you sure? Yes. (Was that Him? Is that me?) I went ahead and requested (and received) a year-long leave of absence from my job.

Then, in May, the change of direction -

Since January, I had been pursuing the idea of working as a teaching assistant in a Spanish public school, while attending a church in Madrid. That was my plan - work in Madrid, live in Madrid, go to church in Madrid. I applied. I got references. It was taking shape. I was accepted. I was placed...HOURS away from Madrid, about as far away as you can get and still be in the country. What now, God? Which of these was what You had for me - the teaching, or the church? I believed He was pointing to the church. So I declined placement in the teaching program, and again I was left with no plans. Just that nudge in my spirit.

After emailing Jaz at the church, a plan started to take shape again - I would go to Spain on a religious worker's visa, and I would form part of the church's first attempt at an internship program. They were super excited to have me. I was excited to go.

Then came July, and another email from Jaz.

For various reasons, the internship program was a no-go. Did I still want to go? At this point, I knew that I did. There was no hesitation. God had confirmed through scripture that He was sending me to Spain. So this time, I (once again) had no plan, but I began to understand that God had one.

In July, I worked to finalize everything I could - moving out and renting out my condo, sending off a package to the FBI for my background check, scheduling an appointment with the Spanish embassy in San Francisco, lining up a summer job in the orchard.

Then August and September - the waiting game, which I blogged about in my last post. I had an appointment with the Spanish embassy set for October 9th. (Look at the calendar - that's this Monday!) The catch was that, in order for my visa application to be even considered at the embassy, it needs to be complete. I was still missing 3 key documents: 2 from Spain that Jaz was taking care of, and my FBI background check (which, if you will remember, I applied for back in July. It's a 10-12-week waiting period for the results).

The good news: the 2 documents from Spain arrived just yesterday!

The other news:

After a near-crisis this morning as I realized that my background check is NOT going to arrive in time for my appointment, and that the next soonest available appointment was not until December 29th, and for a brief second I saw an opening in October, but then once I cancelled my current appointment, the other October one had vanished, and my mom's voice resounded in my head, "Maybe it's not meant to be, Dahlia," I closed the computer screen and prayed. I sensed that God was reassuring me. Just trust Him. 

Then, I opened it again, and refreshed. Many times. Sure enough, another October appointment popped up, and this time, I got it.

When Jesus said to Peter, "Oh, you of little faith," I've heard it said that the word "little" that Jesus used did not mean small in amount, but short in duration. Peter had much faith for the first few steps on the water, but, once he saw the waves around him, his faith failed. He didn't trust long enough. 

This morning, God was asking me to trust still. Trust longer. It will all work out according to His plan.

I think that involves learning to be at peace with the unknowns. When many well-intentioned, caring people ask me questions I don't have the answers to, I do grow impatient with myself and with the process. Why DON'T I know the answers to these questions yet?  How much longer will this waiting period last? 

Trust longer.

Speaking of questions of well-intentioned, caring people, here are the most recent frequently-asked questions that I may or may not have answers for:

FAQ 1: So... any news? Any updates?

Actually, yes!

1. As I mentioned above, I have a new appointment in San Francisco, in exactly 3 weeks.

2. I now have a confirmed place to live! I will be renting a room from a lady who lives just around the corner from the church! 

3. My job in the orchard finished yesterday! I actually really enjoyed it, and I was able to save some funds for my upcoming trip.

4. I am now insured in Spain (medically). But not in the US, hehe *nervous laughter*

5. I am officially car-less! My tabs expired at the end of September, and I did not renew. I also cancelled my car insurance. This is for real, people!

FAQ 2: When are you leaving for Spain again?

Well, let's calculate. My visa appointment is 3 weeks from now, and it can take 4-6 weeks for my visa to be ready after the appointment. That puts my departure roughly around the end of November.

FAQ 3: Aaand...what are you going to do there? Teach?

Nope - no teaching per se. The "plan" is currently to serve in various of the church's ministries, including the young adult group and possibly a type of street ministry that they do. Also, I will work 2-3 days per week with Oasis Center, which provides different services for immigrants to Spain.

FAQ 4: But you're going back to teaching when you get back, right?

The current answer is yes. I am planning to return for the 2018-2019 school year. After seeing how easily God can foil my plans, though, I can say nothing for certain. :)

Thanks for your interest in my life and this journey! I'll post another one of these in about a month for your reading pleasure. As always, if you are curious about something I didn't include, feel free to comment below. 👇

To read previous updates, click on the link(s) below:
July update: The Comeback
August update: While I'm Waiting

All the single ladies talk about...Marriage!

Most of us feel called to the vocation of marriage...but what is it exactly that I'm attracted to?

I have undergone so many distinct attitudes toward marriage that you wouldn't believe it. Or maybe you would!

In high school, I read Elisabeth Elliot's biography of Amy Carmichael, a missionary to Japan who never married. I was so inspired by Amy's devotion that I vowed to be like her -- not to be a missionary, OH, no! -- but to never marry. Jesus and Paul's words and examples seemed to support my decision. 

Paul:

To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (1 Corinthians 7:8, 9 ESV)

Jesus:

Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.” (Matthew 19:12 ESV)

Perhaps you can understand, then, why I was offended the year after high school, while attending a church that was new for me, when one of the leaders made this comment, "Most of you will be married one day." 

'Why?' I thought. Why this expectation for us to marry? Why all this emphasis on the holiness of marriage, when Jesus Himself, the Holiest of Holies, never married?

But there are two ways to look at Jesus, aren't there? He was both fully man and fully God. As man, he never married. As God, He is betrothed.

That same year, I learned a whole new side of God, and of myself. The heart of a mother awakened within me. I know you can have spiritual sons and daughters, but I truly believed I would have sons and daughters of the flesh.

The next thought naturally followed: "If I want to be a mom, I have to first be a wife." That was what "turned me on" to marriage. 

Over the 6 years since that heart change, marriage has held several other attractions for me - some most definitely false! (Like when I think that everything will just be BETTER once I'm married!)

As things stand right now, I'm just excited to be a part of a forever, covenental partnership - where we can share a vision, consult each other on important decisions, see the best in each other while speaking the truth in love, seek God together, minister together, raise children together, go deeper together.

It's what we all want, isn't it? Whether from a husband or from our closest friends and family, we long for togetherness. 

But, until marriage knocks on this girl's door, my plan is to live out my calling anyway. Be a daughter to my parents. Be a mother to my students. Be a mentor to the teenage girls at my church. Form covenental relationships with close friends and family. Seek God with them. I can't just sit around and wait until marriage to do these things. My calling is for now!

So this is a truth that I am constantly being reminded of and working out. When Loneliness comes knocking at my door, her sister Longing tagging behind with their cousin Discontent, God is always so faithful to intervene. 

"No," He says. "She's mine! And I am all she needs."

So, cheers, ladies! Whether we marry soon, later, or never, until then and forever, He is all we need!

Linking up with Jen at Jumping in Puddles

2014

If you haven't noticed, I haven't really found my blogging niche.

What I mean by that is, I'm an inconsistent blogger. :P

I'm okay with that. My main inhibitions have been - well, TIME to start with. But we all know you can make time for something if you think it's worthwhile. Also, I don't want to add to the abundance of junk that's available online. I keep a journal, so it's not like I need this blog to "get everything out." What I like about it is it's a public space where I can share things worth sharing. What I share on here is not anything I impose on anyone, but anyone who wants to may read it.

All that to say, I've given up on "trying to blog." But I will be intentional to blog when I have something worth sharing.

Sound like a deal?

And some things worth sharing are my goals for 2014.

So, world-wide web (or..maybe just Samara and Bek and the occasional passerby), here we go:

Dahlia's Goals for 2014

1. Faith - More consistent TWL (time with the Lord) in the mornings, with a focus on scripture that I can chew on throughout the day
2. Food - I want to be healthier! So I'm starting off the year with a 40-day Daniel eating plan, and I'll focus on implementing those principles (if not the entire plan) throughout the year.
3. Family - I have some lovely friends who have introduced me to new TV and youtube shows. I love those friends. I love the shows! But---nobody else in my family does! (The shows, not the friends). So I'm committing to ZERO alone-time on the TV or youtube this year! Any tube time will have to be with family, or friends. So, either my family will join me as fans of Sherlock, Doctor Who, and Emma Approved, or I'll just have to forget about them. Whew!
4. Fourth-grade - I just said fourth grade because it starts with an F, but really this is a workplace goal. I'm committing to a random act of kindness per day at work.
5. Fun - Truthfully, all the other goals were established, but I'm trying to think of this one on the spot. For fun, I really want to go to Mexico this summer (anyone want to join? July is the time!) Aaand, I'll leave it at that!

Cheers to 2014, a year of gratitude, joy, servitude, worship, prayer, and excitement!

Fantastic Friday

I greet my students every day with what we call "The Morning Message." It usually begins with

Good Morning, Class,

and usually ends with,

Love,
Ms. Avila

and in between I inform the kids what we'll be doing today, complete with transition words and usually at least one instance of alliteration.

Have a merry Monday...terrific Tuesday...wonderful Wednesday...thankful Thursday...fantastic Friday...

You get the idea.

All that to explain the title of this post.

And now perhaps a little more illumination on today's events will help further explain why today was fantastic.

1. It was my first day as an auntie.

PC: My mom, ntbka (now to be known as) "Grandma"

Little Brynn Loree Avila was born last night, weighing in at 8 pounds, 0 ounces. She got to be my first experience holding a newborn. My brother Armando got to show me how.

The only down-side to her birth is that my sister-in-law Lisa is still recovering from her C-section delivery. :( Not fun.

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2. This is funny.

Earlier today, my mom was searching for my little brother, Oliver. She searches in the house, in the yard, in the driveway...where could he be?

You know where she found him? Curled up, asleep, with Pepsi (our dog)... in the doghouse!

I wish I had a picture of this. It gives a whole new meaning to the saying "in the doghouse."

For another funny anecdote, be sure to read Bek's latest Funny Friday.

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3. You know how, when someone's gone, people all of a sudden start saying nice things about them?

Like, "She was always so nice."
Or, "He always found a way to make me laugh."

Well, now that my one-year teaching contract is almost up, I kind of feel like that person who is gone...or leaving.

People I've known and related with all year are beginning to say,
"Oh, you've done such a great job."
"We hope we can keep you."

And it's really encouraging! But - who am I kidding? I really have had a wealth of support and encouragement this entire school year, from friends, family, and colleagues -- even parents of my students, and the students themselves...

This lovely daffodil graced my desk a couple of weeks ago. I asked around to identify the gifter, but I found out zilch. So I just enjoyed it. [I've discovered I love receiving flowers.]

...which is one of the reasons I love the school I am at...and one of the reasons I am so grateful to God for His goodness...and one of the reasons I have, as of today, applied for a continuing position at this school!

What next year will bring, only God knows. He clearly opened the doors for me to be where I am right now, and I know He'll be faithful to continue guiding me according to His will.

Lead on, Lord.

And that was my fantastic Friday.

Nostalgia

I love the part
In fairy tales
That's very near the end
When all the kingdom cheers for their new Queen

And all is well
And all is good
And everyone belongs
And happily they're ever-aftering

But when I enter the kingdom of dreams
And face the promise of all I can be,
Will they see me as a heroine?
Tell me, will they let me in?
Won't someone let me in?

- Let Me In, Rigoletto

I'm feeling very nostalgic, and I started singing this song.

Maybe because I've been looking through old photos, like the one you see above.
Or the one you see below.

I've generally been very aware of change.

[But who isn't?]

And so much has changed.

Like this.

And this.

And this.

And I'm not sure if what I want is for all the change to be un-done, or for nothing else to change, or for something to change.

Have you ever felt like this? It's like you're caught in a limbo between the past and the future, and you're not quite sure how the present fits in.

It's moments like this that I become so aware of my need to cling to God.
He is stable -- my Rock.
His purposes are eternal -- my Guide.
His love is unchanging, and His joy is unfailing -- my Strength.